Firstly, I hope you are well and staying at home.
A week ago I opened up my Instagram Stories to ask what blog posts you would like to see during this strange time and this was one of the ideas. At first it made me LOL but it actually is a very valid issue. Now we are all cooped up indoors, we are spending more time than ever with our partners. Especially if you’re quite independent people (like me and my boyfriend Arthur) then being forced together 24/7 can be a rather big change. I am not claiming I’m a relationship expert but with 13 years of *ahem* harmony under my belt, I certainly know a thing or two. Here are some top tips for staying loved up in lockdown.
Find your own space
We are all individuals so you should never feel bad for wanting to be alone every now and then. Even in our one bed flat, we both have our own zones. If I want a quiet place to sit and read, I’ll head into the bedroom while Arthur is killing zombies or conquering the world on his games in the living room. Even though you may be mere meters apart, having this ‘alone’ time is so important to do your own thing.
Lay the ground rules
Whether it be who does the washing up or what time you go to bed, it’s always better if you are both on the same page – as this will eliminate the chance for disagreements further down the line. In our household, whoever cooks knows that the other person will be taking on the washing up – because that’s fair. It’s already an established ‘rule’ so then there’s no need to moan and stress about it after enjoying a nice dinner.
Talk it out
I cannot stress this one enough. Sometimes I act as though Arthur can read my mind – and I find myself in a right tizz (read: foul mood) expecting him to just know exactly what I want him to do. And usually after around 10 mins of sulking, I realise that I should have probably just told him what was wrong or what I’d like him to do – as it would have saved the hassle. So when it doubt, just talk it out. And another top tip when bringing up a problem/issue with a man – apparently they handle the confrontation better when you speak to them side by side, rather than looking at them straight on. So have a little moan when you are sat side-by-side on the sofa next time!
Make time for each other
Now this one sounds a little silly – because all you seem to be doing is spending time together – however, actually think about how much quality time you are spending in each other’s company. Sat scrolling Insta next to each other does not really count. Set some time aside to watch a movie together with no phones or scheduling in a special ‘date night’ should do the trick. And yes, you can totally still have a date night in your own home – light some candles, put something nice on and enjoy a home-cooked meal.
Do something silly
Arthur and I are besties through and through and so there’s not a day goes by without us bursting into laughter – and a good old giggle can go a long way during these rather stressful times. Put on a comedy film, challenge your other half to a game of Heads Up or go all out and succumb to the TikTok trend. I’d highly recommend downloading it, even if it’s just to watch the videos while you pluck up the courage to get involved. Honestly, it will provide hours of fun!
We can all be a little stubborn sometimes and at times like this, when tension is high, it is easy to get frustrated with one another. First of all, accept that it’s okay to argue – in fact, it’s healthy to disagree sometimes. But if you do happen to have a row, the most important thing is saying sorry. Swallow your pride, talk things through calmly and say the S word (just not that S word…).
And if all else fails, place embarrassing items behind them for their conference calls, move their bookmarks three pages forward and partake in a vigorous exercise class when they are trying to nap. Passive aggressive revenge at its finest.